How Cheating Works
It isn’t new that the rate at which people cheat in their partners is alarming, which really calls for immediate attention to be fixed. If everyone can not stop their partners from cheating , you should stop your partner from cheating.
In fact, there are people who practise cheating in relationships, even making it obvious to their lover, while others try to keep it a secret out of respect and (love).
People can say, having an extra affair outside of a relationship can be partially done out of respect but for love! It is arguable not so, because love is unconditional, when you claim to love someone, it is important to love wholeheartedly.
However, there is something that can not be taken away from humans; (mistakes) make humans incomplete and as well imperfect, though we may say people act consciously according to their intention, decision has been made before an action, this is just like saying there is always a cause before an effect.
Hard Truth – Some facts about relationship
One problem about humans is that we always try to avoid the truth, especially when we are in the middle of a crisis, we always hope to hear the opposite of what might hurt us.
It is only when we choose to embrace the truth and accommodate it for what it is, only then our heart can finally be at rest, until then, we remain in chains of our own thought.
1. 99% of lovers try all means to avoid hearing the truth because of heartbreaks
2. This days, at least one out of ten relationships are based on true love
3. One out of ten relationships are based on true love
4. At least eight out of ten persons in a relationship has two to three sex mate
5. At least two out of three partners have side chick
6. At least 95 percent of marriages practise extra marital affair
7. At least one of your neighbour crush on your wife or husband
8. At least one of your partner’s friend which to have you for pleasure
It is a sound argument but not valid to conclude that people purposely make mistakes, there must have been a cause before an action. People’s mentality about cheating is that the moment one is caught cheating automatically he/she becomes a cheat without verification.
To conclude or decide on who is a cheat and who is not requires the right technique, many relationships and marriages have been broken because most people judge on first impressions without understanding the cause of the action.
This does not mean that cheating is good or protecting yourself with lies will cover cheaters up of their betrayer but the essence to help and stop your partner from cheating is a way to show the world and as well fix back broken relationships and marriages who failed by judging on first impression and not giving their relationship a second chance.
Cheating Can Be Accidental
Here we shall discuss proof of how cheating can be accidental, inevitable, a disaster even when one tries to avoid it and how to help our partner not become a victim.
One thing we should consider and most people know but fail to admit is that people are not the same, individual difference plays a great role in our lives, the way we can handle situations are quite different from one another, this defines our strengths and weaknesses.
There are people who are weak minded and some are strong both in male and female gender.
Is Cheating Ever a Mistake
Before you can conclusively call a person a cheat or say it was never a mistake but an intentional act, there is need to consider some certain things before judging or being conclusive.
How Did You Judge The Incident?
Most people judge incidents based on their current situation, mood and position at which they met a thing which does not meet up the criteria of a good judge.
For instance; Seeing a man’s text on your wife’s phone without stronger evidence does not mean she is having an extra marital affair. The content of the message should be rated, how often is the message sent and some other factors should be considered as well before jumping into conclusion.
Seeing you man entering an hotel with a lady does not mean they went their to have sex. The level of trust in you should be tested, only if your man has been a flirt.
The worst scenario is to catch your partner red handed cheating on you. This could be disgusting and heartbreaking but reacting immediately to this and jumping into conclusion of a divorce or breakup could really show that you never needed the relationship or in love with your spouse.
You don’t judge an instance situation without solid verification, though it is natural to flame up, get angry as you may find the situation of your cheating partner unpleasant but not taking the time to give it a deep thought could be a loss to you at the end which you might regret.
How People End Up As Cheat
Some people become a cheat due to exposure and visibility of their weakness .While others are just a cheat by nature who flirt around without considering their partners feelings.
However, The former could be a mistake which you as a partner need to watch out for to help you from cheating. This is not for your own interest alone but to shield your relationship if you value it.
The same way people tap into other peoples will, control people through emotions, make them happy and then steal away their joy, the same process applies to how people can turn your partner into a cheat without them being aware of their negative actions.
“No matter how strong we are, our imperfections remain our greatest weakness”.
Take for instance; if you have really fallen so deep in love before, I mean real deep, you will understand that most times your emotions can greatly control your reasoning.
You will notice you are making the wrong decision, you will be aware of the deadly decision you are about to make yet push for it just for love sake. At this point, you are not in control of yourself, you are overwhelmed by your partner’s love and being controlled by it. The same way anyone can tap into our emotions to control us.
I have seen people in relationships, married women who give more attention to their neighbour than their husband, and husband given attention to their female neighbour with and without being conscious of it. Other people become a cheat due to condition, perhaps in need of assistance.
If the neighbour is a flirt, he/she sees this as an opportunity and takes advantage of it, your partner may not be aware of this move before they end up on a journey they can not contain. Most people find it hard to pull out because of shame and threats, they have no choice than to continue.
“Still not convinced that cheating can be a mistake; well, hope not to be a victim of circumstance”.
How To Stop Your Partner From Cheating
The truth remains, you can not stop your lover from cheating, you can only help your partner from cheating if you can manage your relationship by checking and balancing the imperfections but not to perfect your relationship.
Here are some of the major imperfections in relationships which can be managed but not to be perfected to help your partner from cheating.
1. Lack of self discipline: Some people lack self discipline, they act upon what they see without taking into consideration the harm it can cause. Let’s take for instance; a woman or man can be very playful, jovial and caring that he/she may not know he has trespass. Showing love to a flirt person can easily make you a target without being conscious of it. A flirt person can easily flow with you, trick or persuade you in a corny way until you submit and fall into their trap, after which you see yourself cheating on your partner. Always try to be observant and correct your partner about the harm and benefits of self discipline according to positivepsychology.
2. Accept the truth: So many relationships have shown signs of fruitlessness at the on set, but most people pay little or no attention to it, reason being that most people fail to hear or admit the truth while they try all means to ignore it. In fact a deceitful partner is most likely to show you signs of unseriousness at the start of a relationship and what their motives are, but because we love and also try to avoid heartbreak, we fail to admit. Be wise, don’t wait to change a person who is not ready for a change, accept the truth, break up as early as possible and move on.
3. Insecure: A partner who is insecure will always find themselves not safe with us. This is not healthy for a relationship, insecure could lead to lack of trust and comfort, this can make a partner look for security elsewhere.
4. Attention: Everything is not all about money, attention and care helps relationships, some partners don’t really care about what you have, they just need your attention and care. Do not expect to have a good relationship when your partner does not get the attention they need. You have to secure your relationship at all costs, there are many men and ladies out there who are doing much better than you, these people can easily convince and manipulate your partner, giving your partner maximum attention is crucial to avoid cheating.
5. Communication: How often do you communicate with your partner? Once in a while, once in 24 hours, every hour or every time. Communication is very important to shield relationships. The more you communicate the stronger your connection becomes. Sometimes talking every time can be boring, you may need to try something new. Have you tried sexting, like talking dirty, but before you do this, make sure you ask your partner if they love it, if she/he doesn’t, check out the things to talk about in a relationship. If you do not ask then, know you have given your relationship out.
6. Intimacy: How close is your partner to you, do you guys have fun? Are you guys best friends and do things like mates or you place yourself about your relationship. Can you accommodate his/her naughty behaviour, do you see him/her as a friend or a master. Intimacy is important to keep a partner from cheating in a relationship. The closer you get, the freedom they have to tell you everything.
7. Imperfection: Have you found the imperfection in her/him, those things that are unpleasant while courting. Are you trying to fix this imperfection or using it against your partner, if you are the type that takes advantage of your partner’s imperfection, just know your partner is not for you. What you don’t like in your partner may be something other people can accommodate.The moment people see they can find what they are looking for, such as the qualities of a good woman and values a man can offer. They will give your partner the care he/she needs which could result in cheating.
8. Attractive: The moment your partner finds you unattractive you are doom. Attraction is what brings two lovers together from the onset .There is something that makes you attractive to your partner, please never stop doing those things, instead advance in it, improving overtime. And learn why marriages become problematic after a baby.
9. Self control: Some people can not resist, do not have self control, they are very sensitive to touch, they are also emotionally weak. These people are more vulnerable to become a cheat unintentionally but out of inability to control themselves. When you know your partner is weak at this, always try to protect them, guide them, and if they fall victim to cheating, be considerate and look for good evidence before judging them. Love is forgiveness.
Anyone is vulnerable to cheating, it is not your doing or how smart you are but by grace.
10. Satisfaction: There are people who are naturally unsatisfied with whatever they have, money, pleasure, sex, joy, achievement and all, they are never satisfied. If your partner falls in this category, ensure to stop your partner from cheating. You have to continually caution him/her if you truly love her/him, because most of them end up being a cheat or become a victim. Imagine an unsatisfied partner who lacks self control.
11. Temperament: Temperament can frustrate your partner to become a cheat, getting angry at everything will never solve anything but add up more problems. Find ways to handle a temperamental partner.
12. Friends influence: You have the right to manage your partners friendship to stop your partner from cheating. Friends can greatly influence your relationship or marriage, the kind of friends you keep has more to do with your progress in life.
If you or your partner have a flirting caliber of friends then have it in mind that your partner can become a cheat.
13. High Libido: Premarital affair is not advisable in courtship, this is where a partner can find out if they are sexually compatible, however you can know the level of your compatibility before marriage. Many marriages have been destroyed because of sexual differences, not having enough or not being sexually satisfied in marriage can lead partners out to cheat on their lover.
Partner should have in one way or the other notice this early enough, the moment you notice your partner not being satisfied with sex, it is important to work harder to please them.
If you see you aren’t performing enough in sex, help your partner from cheating by visiting your doctor or check for reliable ways on how to enhance sex performance.
14. Respect for partner: Respect for your partner automatically promotes joy and progress. Remember, if you can’t respect your partner for who they are, someone out their will. It equally means you have sold the relationship out, which does not stop your partner from cheating.
15. Inferiority complex: Relationship is not a master and slave business. Never make your partner feel inferior to you. This is mostly common to men who think they are the head and superior to their woman. Gender difference has its limit, introducing such to your relationship will ruin it. Since you find it hard to come to your partner’s level, it equally means pushing your partner out to find someone who can come to their level.
16. Pressure: Do not mount pressure on your spouse out of selfishness or in-contentment, because you feel they aren’t doing enough does not mean they are not doing their best. It could lead to cheating.
17. Freedom: Only a few partners in a relationship have freedom and free will to act, there are times you need to give privacy to your partner. Trying to monitor your spouse all the time is an act of jealousy and not love. Know that privacy in marriage is important, Restricting privacy will not stop a cheat, you can only help your partner from cheating.
18. Inability to spice relationship: Overtime, relationship needs to be renewed, don’t be outdated. Do things you do when you first meet, be romantic, even when you are married, add up to your cooking skills, dress classic, find a way to inspire your lover to love you more, take yourself out for a date again, give yourselves surprises, go on vacation together, have nice time without disturbance . Learn new tricks, and techniques to spice up your relationship, this is a great way to help your partner from cheating.
Caught your partner cheating, How do you approach it?